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Five Of The Best Local Newspaper Stories

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We are fans of our local newspapers here at Umpf, but occasionally they do print stories that make you think: ‘Quiet news day is it?’

From custard shortages to one-armed hunchbacks, we’ve picked our five favourite local newspaper stories.

If you’ve got any suggestions add a comment below or message us @Umpf and we will add it to our Pinterest board.

  1. Our favourite is this classic from the Bradford T&A – circa late 1990s – courtesy of Sarah Giangregorio from The Right Agency. The front page teaser reads: “Hunt for one-armed hunchback – police are looking for a one-armed hunchbacked Irish midget who walks with a limp after a burglary at Wibsey.” Wonder if they ever caught this hard-to-miss thief? Read about the hunt for the one-armed hunchback in Bradford
  2. From March 25, 2009 is a pun-tastic piece from the Whitstable Times: “Whitstable mum in custard shortage” which goes on to say “A mum of three is dis-custard after a hunt for the dessert sauce in the town proved fruitless.” The experience left a “sour taste in her mouth”. This story went on to inspire a book as reported by Press Gazette
  3. “Dog injures nose” is the headline no-one wants to read, but the Salisbury Journal has the scoop back in April 2010 (no, it wasn’t an April Fool story – see image, below). They reported “Police in Ringwood are investigating the circumstances surrounding an injury to a dog’s nose.” It transpires that the dog ran off, and “collided” with another dog during which one of the dogs “received an injury to his nose.” The paper did a follow-up two days later – ‘Dog injures nose: the update you’ve all been waiting for‘ – sadly, no mention of how the dog was getting on.
  4. In other dog news, the classic “Man bites dog” has been reported in a number of local rags, such as this 2011 front pager from The Daily Astorian, Oregon, USA – see image below
  5. How about “Early customers find Boots closed”. Hold the front page indeed, especially with that Pulitzer Prize-winning photo which you can see below. You really couldn’t make it up.

Why stop at five? How about this Eastern Daily Press story from 7 March 2011: Police appeal for lost birthday card owner.