We are big fans of our local newspapers here at Umpf, but occasionally they do print stories that make you think: ‘Quiet news day is it?’
From custard shortages to one-armed hunchbacks, we’ve picked a list of our favourite local newspaper stories.
If you’ve got any suggestions message us @Umpf and we will add here and to our Pinterest board.
1. Hunt for one-armed hunchback
Our favourite is this classic from the Bradford T&A – circa late 1990s – courtesy of Sarah Giangregorio from The Right Agency. The front page teaser reads: “Hunt for one-armed hunchback – police are looking for a one-armed hunchbacked Irish midget who walks with a limp after a burglary at Wibsey.” Wonder if they ever caught this hard-to-miss thief? Read about the hunt for the one-armed hunchback in Bradford
2. Whitstable mum in custard shortage
From March 25, 2009 is a pun-tastic piece from the Whitstable Times: “Whitstable mum in custard shortage” which goes on to say “A mum of three is dis-custard after a hunt for the dessert sauce in the town proved fruitless.” The experience left a “sour taste in her mouth”. This story went on to inspire a book as reported by Press Gazette
3. Dog Injures Nose
“Dog injures nose” is the headline no-one wants to read, but the Salisbury Journal has the scoop back in April 2010 (no, it wasn’t an April Fool story – see image, below). They reported “Police in Ringwood are investigating the circumstances surrounding an injury to a dog’s nose.” It transpires that the dog ran off, and “collided” with another dog during which one of the dogs “received an injury to his nose.” The paper did a follow-up two days later – ‘Dog injures nose: the update you’ve all been waiting for‘ – sadly, no mention of how the dog was getting on.
4. Man bites dog
In other dog news, the classic “Man bites dog” has been reported in a number of local rags, such as this 2011 front pager from The Daily Astorian, Oregon, USA.
5. Early customers find Boots closed
How about “Early customers find Boots closed”. Hold the front page indeed, especially with that Pulitzer Prize-winning photo which you can see below. You really couldn’t make it up.
6. Police appeal for lost birthday card owner
You really feel for the families, when you see stories like this one from the Eastern Daily Press, from 7 March 2011: “Police appeal for lost birthday card owner”.
